My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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