I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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