I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
