that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
