she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
