she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
