Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
