I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
