this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
