So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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