apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
