the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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