maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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