Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
