Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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