chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
