"it" just moved
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
