is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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