You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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