I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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