return my video game
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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