I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
