Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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