If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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