This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
