last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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