He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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