he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
