please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
