Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish I only lived at night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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