Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
