the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What a dumb baby whore.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
