i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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