Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
