I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
