Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
