In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
