Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
