What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
