theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
