I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize