If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
