Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
