Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
