Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize