do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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