I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
