I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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