Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
