Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
