You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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