Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
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