Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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