Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
