You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize