Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
