If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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