Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
