dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize