was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
