Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
