she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
