Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you win again, gameday.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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