he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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