When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
