omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
