have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
