I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
