____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
