went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
