Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
